I read a fiction book when I was a teenager where the main character always made a wish when the numbers on the clock were all the same. (11:11, 4:44, etc.) Ever since then I have been doing the same.
Since I’ve gotten married and had kids my wish is always for a happy and healthy family. Lately I have been getting greedy and asking for a happy and healthy family, and the patience to make it so.
A few weeks or months ago (who can really keep track of time?!) I was talking to my friend about the fact that I always seemed to get mad at my older child so easily, and I wouldn’t get mad at the little one even if they were doing the same thing. She said the same thing happened to her every day and we realized it was because we put higher expectations on the oldest child.
I was joking when I said we should put labels on them to remind us how old they are, but I’ve tried doing it mentally and it seems to help.
A three-year old will have potty accidents. A three year old has big emotions and may push or throw when they get mad. A three year old has big emotions and may cry for 20 minutes over reasons that seem important to them, but may seem like nothing to us all knowing adults. A three year old will push the boundaries and test the limits. A three year old may not listen the first time, or even the first 13 times.
So I have been asking for patience to take the time to realize that my child is just a child.
I have been less angry, but I haven’t been perfect.
Today I found an article on pinterest by Happy You Happy Family, and I think it is the reason I am still awake at 11:36 at night. I can’t seem to stop thinking about parenting, and patience, and being kind and respectful with my children. In this article, the mother suggests a method for breaking the bad habit of angry parenting by using 5 hair ties. When you respond angrily to your child you move one hair band to your other arm, and you have to earn it back by connecting with your child. She recommends 5 connection activities to earn your hairband back. 5 connection activities such as hugging your child, eye contact and smiling, reading a book together, playing together, etc. will not make your child forget that you yelled at them, but it will go someway in repairing and strengthening your relationship.
Anyways, she explains it better than I did. I’m going to give it a try because there’s always room for improvement and learning, and I need a strategy for when my patience runs out. (Especially when there is a third child thrown into the mix! 7 and half more weeks!!!)
Well, I hope I can go to sleep now.