About, Parenting

First Trimester Tips

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(I don’t know what that second circle is, but the doctor assured me I’m only have one baby. Thank goodness!)

The first three months of pregnancy are probably the most difficult to get through. When asked, I describe myself as “miserable”. The truth is, though, that I could be feeling a lot worse! I have to remember that I am not throwing up, and I can still eat most foods as long as they are fresh. (For some reason, leftovers make me really queasy.)

Here are some tips that I have found to ease my suffering. Hopefully they work for you, too!

  1. Sea Bands – These armbands work great for motion sickness, AND they work for morning sickness too. I used these on all the cruises I’ve been on (especially when pregnant/breast feeding and unable to take Dramamine). I have gone from laying on the couch and bemoaning my misery to being able to play on the floor with the kids again. At least part of the time. It honestly does make a difference, even if it’s just in my head.
  2. Eat frequent, small, and healthy(ish) snacks. Use those few moments you feel okay to slice an apple, cucumber, or similar fruit to have ready. That way as soon as you start feeling icky you can eat a few slices and feel better. I never let me stomach get empty because that is when I feel most like vomiting.
  3. I keep a breakfast bar and bottle of water by the bed so I can have a bite before I get up in the morning.
  4. Take naps whenever you can. Insist on having some “mommy” time, even if it’s just for a quick nap. Your body is going through a lot of changes right now and exhaustion is guaranteed.
  5. Leave the house! I’m starting to realize that if you lay on the couch moaning all day, you will never feel better because all you think about is how sick you feel. But if you go out to the park or museum and are chasing two kids running in opposite directions, you have no time to feel sorry for yourself. Later you will realize that you actually felt okay. Just don’t forget to bring snacks.

Are there any tips that worked well for you? 

 

 

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Parenting

Guilt

I was complaining to my mother a few weeks ago about how much I had been yelling at my kids, and her response was simply, “You are going to feel that way for the rest of your life. I still feel guilty today.”

That is both depressing and terrifying and I dont want to feel that way.

For the most part I remember my childhood quite fondly, and was good friends with my mom throughout my teenage years and still today. But if there is a way to avoid the blow ups and yelling and dragging across the room by the hair ( I will never let you forget), then I need to learn it now. Rumor has it that adolescents are even more infuriating than 3 year olds.

They may look like angels…

I started reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and he is saying all the right things. He is saying that parenting is hard, really hard, and that we all make mistakes. He is saying our number one job is to love our children and that sometimes the things we do to them make them forget that we do love them.He is saying with an open mind and heart we can change. We don’t have to yell at our children, we have to listen to them. We don’t have to put them in time out to cry inconsolably and forget the reason why, we have to comfort them and explain, show them a better way to do things.

Hindsight is always clearer and it’s so darn difficult in the heat of the moment to remember these things. For example, Mr. 3 poked me in the eye with his toothbrush and did not listen to me in my repeated requests to acknowledge me, brush his teeth, and put on his diaper. He would periodically and with increasing frustration say, “my name is Morgan!”

Well, that is NOT the name I gave him, and in MY increasing frustration I kept not calling him Morgan, which made him not listen to me. Finally I yelled, and then I cried, and then I apologized and said I needed a moment to calm down. Then I realized my mistake, and apologized for calling him the wrong name and I asked him to be patient with me because I had been calling him — for 3 years and it’s hard to stop. He told me he was happy now and we proceeded to read stories and finish getting ready for bed.

I know I have a lot to learn, and lots of patience to build up. I want to try though, because I love my children and I want what is best for them. I want to listen to them, respect them, and teach them some better problem solving skills than I currently possess. I definitely do NOT want to yell at them again as it is bad for everyone involved.